/December 28, 2018.
I am too lazy to fill in all the details but on the 18th I made my first venture out of my 4 walls when a friend picked me up and took me to the hospital and to the ATM and to the pharmacy and to a supermarket. Wow. Freedom. I appreciate how the animals must feel in the zoo, round and round and round for your whole bloody life. Suicide would be a serious temptation.

I have had challenges with BM's, BP's, and sleeping but things are working out.
I refused to take the sleeping pills and went cold turkey and didn't sleep for 6 days. Wide awake. The withdrawal symptoms are: insomnia, muscle spasms, sweating, and dry, dry mouth and throat. I started taking half the dose, and quit that last night. It is hard to say what is hallucination, dreaming, or wishful thinking but I feel that I am slowly but surely winning the battle, but I am bloody tired.

Lots of visitors over the holidays, lots of food and sweets, etc. These gifts I feel ok to share with others, especially those who have very little or nothing. We are over-blessed and sometimes don't appreciate it or ever recognize it.

Today, I drove for the first time since before the op. Only as far as the hospital and convent, maybe one mile. 5 minutes. IT seems ok to me.

I want to share this from Sr. JOan Chittister with you. She is a prophetess in our Church and in general.

So, have a relatively happy new year, with all the things you will need to cope and even grow in 2019, like love, patience, courage, strength, hope, determination, and good friends, as you are to me.


I can't find it now. I will send it later. good night.  Cas.

Dec. 14, 2018.12.14

     It is tomorrow now, about 11:40 before lunch. I want to start at the beginning for anyone who missed out on anything. I tried with WhatsApp this morning but after a few lines it just disappeared and I was not happy (an understatement). So, I will start with this blog first and then see how to get it to people with WhatsApp.

Oct. 20---I start having spasms of my left let and foot. Every 15 seconds. 24/7. It  is now night and it isn’t stopping.

Oct. 21---I phone our doctor who says he will try to get an appointment with a neurologist.

Oct. 22---failed to get an appointment with Dr. Wolpe (full) but try our luck anyway via outpatient. No luck. See Dr. Maharajh instead but he is not a neurologist.

Oct. 25---through a friend manage to see Dr. Wolpe. He says I have Babinski reflex—when you run something up the bottom of the foot, if the reaction is the big toe going down, that is good. If the big toe goes up, that means that there is something wrong with the nerves—brain, spine, something. He says and writes a letter saying the I need URGENTLY an MRI (Scan).

Oct. 29---We finally manage to get an MRI and it shows that there is a blockage of a bunch of nerves in the spinal column. Right now it is only affecting the nerves going down to the left leg and foot. It will, if left to continue, wind up in something serious, with other nerves, like total paralysis. Very expensive.

Nov. 5---We manage to see Dr. Van der Merwe, a neurosurgeon, with enough towards the operation to book a date.

Nov. 16---Operation date, report to hospital at 6am. (this is Friday). I remain in the hospital for 5 days being checked each day and being forced to get up and walk, with the physiotherapist, each day, including going up and down stairs. The fifth day is Nov. 20, but the Dr. never comes around till late in the afternoon so I have to wait till the

Nov. 21---release, have to walk out of the hospital on my own steam but taught how to get in and out of bed without spoiling the job. Try to walk as much as possible and do the exercises the physio taught me. Only standing, no sitting, and lying down. I’ll be back later.

Nov. 28, 2018---Up till now while I have been back from the hospital, I have been eating my meals standing up and switching off walking with my 4 legged walker inside and outside, watching TV occasionally, and often, on my back, studying the ceiling of my room. I know every crack and shadow by heart. And, I have no energy. I try to put something in my blog but after 2 minutes, I give up. I get lots of WhatsApps, asking how are you, how’s the pain, are you getting better, do you sleep alright, etc. etc. etc. I can’t answer them all and just give up, mostly, dealing with the whatsapps and calls. I check the news on BBC, Al Jazeera, CNN and other sources but get tired of hearing about Brexit, Cohen, Trumps tweets, etc. But, In the meantime, I realize that I have not had a bowel movement Since before I went into the hospital, That’s almost 2 weeks. So I take a laxative (this is the 27^th) and wait. Nothing. SO I take more laxative, still nothing, then, in desperation, I take a super dose, (in the meantime, I haven’t been able to urinate either). Then, it happens. The poor little care giver, a young thing, has to deal with 6 or 7 male nappies, full, but still not an empty system. There were big plans for celebrating my birthday, the 28^th of Nov. but it turns out to be the shittiest day in my life. The whole day up till 9:15 at night. I have sent out an SMS to one of our brothers who is a nurse that I need something to shut this thing off. I spent most of the day sitting on the pot and expelling most of what had gathered up over the last two weeks. ( don’t laugh). Finally, I said let’s have one last try and, whoosh, out it comes, like a landslide and what a relief. Also, I suddenly am able to urinate (about 4 quarts). It seems that the full colon was pressing on the ureter and blocking the urine from flowing. Happy Birthday. Nothing like my 80^th. (Katrina)

I have had several BM’s since then but not quite back to normal. The first one was the result of drinking gallons of water and eating over a dozen prunes. It works. All natural. Hooray.

 Nov. 28 to Dec. 12

Lots of visitors. Some problems with blood pressure, which is something new for me. It is still there but we are trying to calm it down. I have run out of my medication so I had the Doctor send a new scrip which includes a sleeping pill that works much better than the first time, so the sleeping is pretty good.I’ve been sitting too long. I have to take a break.

Dec.13,2018---D day

This was my first appointment with the surgeon since the operation (for you medical people---decompression and spinal fusion). He was happy with the results and the progress. I can now sit on a chair (preferably hard) for 20 minutes at a time. I should not drive before 6 weeks. (that would be Dec. 27 ---six weeks from the operation. I will have another meeting with him on Jan. 17^th and he will send me to another physio (did he say khineticist?) to teach me some new exercises. I walk with a cane and often just move off forgetting the cane. I have no trouble walking and still no pain. Maybe it is still to come. I have been eating with the community and it was good to have company while eating. I keep eating my prunes and will also add some other dried fruits to keep the bulk (fiber) doing its job.

Lots of love to you all and thanks for all the prayers. They have been my greatest support. God bless you all. Fr. Cas.

  

Dec. 13, 2018

Today is the day when I met the neurosurgeon for the first time since the operation. ( That was on Nov. 16) In between I have been very lethargic, not feeling like using the computer (having to stand up to type) or even answering the phone or responding. I just couldn’t, for the most part, be bothered. But today, I got the news that I have (WE HAVE) been waiting for. But it is almost bed time for me and I will fill you in on all the latest information tomorrow, I promise. I have to overcome this lethargy. Good night.

Nov.27,2018

Wow.Two crucial weeks have gone by. I have to stand to type and keep my balance at the same time. So this won’t be long.

The operation was on Friday the 16^th. There were people who wanted to visit me that same afternoon. Ha I was zonked till the next afternoon. Like a zombie. No pain. I was given instructions by my physio on the 17^th now to get in and out of bed. On the 18^th we even learned how to climb stairs. I think that the doctor was impressed . If you don’t pass that test you don’t get out of the hospital.

I was told that Tuesday, the 20^th would be discharge day. However, the doctor had a full schedule of ops and didn’t get there till late on that afternoon. No discharge,

Wednesday, the 21^st, he kept his promise and after learning how to get dressed (with help, keep that back straight) It was about 11:30 when we were at last leaving but definitely not before paying a afew more bills that had accumulated in the meantime.

Nov. 12, 2012.

    I just found this in the Washington Post. Have a look at it and see what you think. If it is true, then what do we do about it? Probably Trump would label it as "fake News". and go on demeaning the press, especially The Washington Post, which is one of the more credible news sources, along with the New York Times, CNN, BBC, etc. I still don't understand why Trump just doesn't take them all to court for libel if he is so sure that what they publish is not true. But have a look.

               Opinions

The U.S. is in a state of perpetual minority rule

People fill out their ballots on Tuesday in Ridgeland, Miss., in the 2018 midterm elections. (Rogelio V. Solis/AP)

By Daniel Markovits and

Ian Ayres

November 8

Daniel Markovits and Ian Ayres teach about law, economics and politics at Yale Law School. Ayres is an author of “Voting With Dollars.”

Many see the midterm results as a split decision. Democrats herald their victory in the House as a repudiation of President Trump’s agenda. Republicans, meanwhile, regard picking up three seats in the Senate as a vindication of that very agenda, and the president tweeted that the election was a “very Big Win.”

Both appraisals accord Trumpism a democratic legitimacy it has not earned and does not deserve. Look behind the midterm elections’ outcomes — and the distortions produced by small states in the Senate and by gerrymandering in the House — to focus directly on the votes that constitute democratic bedrock, and a very different picture comes in to focus. The partisan balance of power — even the new balance, including a Democratic House — subjects the United States to undemocratic minority rule.

As of this writing, Democratic candidates for the House overall have won 4.2 million more votes than Republican candidates did. And partisan gerrymanders and geographic sorting meant that the Democrats needed every vote they got.

Similarly, although the 2018 tallies are not complete, we estimate that the Democratic senators in the new Congress — taken all together over the three cycles that elected them — will have won 4.5 million more votes than Republican senators. The members of the Democratic minority, on average, each received about 30 percent more votes than their Republican counterparts. 

Both results represent trends rather than historical anomalies or accidents. Research by the political analyst David Wasserman (of the Cook Political Report) shows that the current Republican biases in both the House and Senate elections are at all-time highs — greater than the partisan biases in favor of either party at any prior time for which data exist.

The electoral college system extends these biases into presidential elections. Donald Trump himself also lost the popular vote — by 2 percentage points, or nearly 3 million votes — in 2016. This difference represents the greatest popular-vote loss suffered by any winning president in history.

President Trump and the Republican senators have used their offices to remake the judiciary in their own image. Justices Neil M. Gorsuch and Brett M. Kavanaugh entrench a reliable conservative majority at the Supreme Court, in spite of being nominated by a popular-vote-losing president and confirmed by senators who, our research shows, collectively won (in each case) about 24 million fewer votes than the senators who voted against the nominations.

All in all, then, a Democratic Party that has dominated the popular vote across all federal offices enjoys only a narrow elective majority in one half of one branch of the federal government. And Trump and Republican senators are using their control of the rest of the government to promote policies that will extend and entrench the Republican skew in elections. The Supreme Court will likely soon hear a series of cases in election law that review the very practices that underwrite Republican power.

Finally, these patterns follow a dark demographic logic. White men — roughly one-quarter of the total U.S. population — constitute Trumpism’s core constituency. Exit polls showed they favored Trump over Hillary Clinton by 62 to 31 percentand favored Republicans over Democrats in this year’s midterms by 60 to 39 percent. No other major demographic group supports the Trump agenda with anything approaching this enthusiasm. We’ve estimated that if white men voted like the rest of America, Democrats would have won the 2016 presidential election by 19 percent and would, following the midterms, control a majority of the Senate with at least 20 more seats.

Because of the distortions of our current election process, the atypical preferences of this historically privileged minority continue to dominate almost the entire government. White men’s votes should of course be counted like everyone else’s, but they should not count for more.

If democracy is what the great political scientist Robert Dahl once called “the continuing responsiveness of the government to the preferences of its citizens, considered as political equals,” then the true verdict on the midterms departs dramatically from the common view. Trumpism does not enjoy any sort of democratic mandate — not even a mixed one.

It is instead a case of minority  rule.

Nov. 13. 2018.

      I just finished my morning prayers and thought that I must apologize for afflicting you with so much Trump. Here is some other things to put the balance back in order somehow.

    I have been getting quite a few visitors. The Savannah Parks community came in force one morning. There were about 15 (as many as you could fit in the minibus). We sang and prayed, all in Zulu, the rosary and other prayers and they all had a chance to pray individually for me. It was very touching. The have a real community spirit. If anyone is sick or if there has been a death in a family, they will all come to pray and offer help of any kind, including money to help feed the people who come from far. They are really Christians.

    Then there are others who come, bringing fruit and , mmmmm, mutton curry. I have a bit each day and it is good for both body and spirit. A couple of the novices have come and it gives me a chance as the senior to give them some words of encouragement and advice. Some sisters have also come and other friends promising prayers and any way that they can help.

   As for me, I can’t wait for Friday. I feel like I am going stir crazy.  Once I finished all the preparations for the home leave and my monthly financial report, I ran out of immediate things to do. And then time was on my hands. But then I decided to start going through my files and getting rid of things and collecting things together that were scattered. That could take a few years.

    I have a fantastic shower. It comes out with full force. And each morning when I get up, I hammer my back, especially the part where the problem is (lumbar regions) and the rest of my body, and it really loosens up the muscles and the aches and pains diminish.

   I have been saying Mass here at my desk after the shower and praying for all of you who have been praying for me all these years. I try to remember especially those who have heavy burdens to carry like serious health problems, or job problems, or financial problems or whatever. The more I think of it the more I realize how blessed I am.

Bu let me leave you to do your thing today. I am getting ready for breakfast. It is almost 7am and I have been up since 4am, with a break for a short sleep between 5 and 6am. Lots and lots of love to you all.

Nov. 11, 2018,

     I get tired of Trump bad-mouthing the press….anything that is critical of him or the Republican party or one of his friends is called “fake news”. Why doesn’t he just sue CNN or NBC or BBC and rake in the millions he could get when he proves that they are not telling the truth in their news. He loves money. Here would be an easy killing. But we know why he doesn’t dare. It doesn’t need any explanation. Trump know how to press all my buttons.

He dared to blame the California firefighters and those responsible for looking after the forests. How stupid and insensitive. My friends in California (one of them was spared when the fire stopped just outside her back window.) were furious at these stupid and insensitive remarks.

     If I were the Europeans I would start looking now at how they could disconnect from America and just trade within themselves and Asia so that he couldn’t punish them with tariffs on goods that no longer come from America. When the jobs began to disappear because there were no more customers from the rest of the world, maybe the stupid republican supporters of Trump would learn a lesson about isolationism or forcing all others to play your game or be punished. He has no clue about diplomacy or fairness, which he boasts about so often.

Nov. 8, 2018,

Now it is the 9^th already, Let’s go back a bit. After the MRI on Tuesday, the 29^th, I didn’t know the protocol. Do I wait for them to contact me or must I do a follow up. I waited till Thursday and phoned the doctor’s office, left a message but got no response. I phoned again on Friday and the secretary told me to come on Monday and she would try to squeeze me in as he had a full schedule. That was some progress,

      On Monday, Bishop Khumalo drove me to the hospital, and both of us expected it to be a long stay because it meant being squeezed in and having to wait. However

Nov. 4, 2018

Last night was the first time I slept happily throughout the whole night, no spasms, only a jerk here and there when I shifted positions. From 10 to 1:30, peaceful sleep, only awake to pee. Then back to a sound sleep till the alarm went off at 4:15am.  Up, shower, Mass at my desk, and back to rest till 6:15.

Up, get dressed, morning prayer, breakfast, reading. All beautiful.

Then when I tried to get up to do something, I think to turn the printer on, Oh my goodness, the pain in my lower back. It was impossible to walk. I had to sit back down again and am sitting now.

What happened, from almost miraculous absence of pain and spasms to a pain that makes me think twice before trying to get up. What the heck is going on.

November 2, 2018

Well now, what has been happening since the 26^th. I have just been lazing around. The instructions are that I should not put any undue pressure on my back as it might cause permanent damage to my spine. Well, now, how do you not put pressure on your back? Don’t move. Ha. So, in any case, I have cut down on my movements. They bring my meals up to me so that I don’t have to go to the elevator (lift) and down the passage to the dining room. I miss the company but, OK. So I hardly move out of my room.

   The 26^th was a Friday. Sat. and Sun. very quiet. As for sleeping at night I have gotten used to the spasms every 15 seconds or so and turn on the left for a while then on the right for a while then flat on my back and then I sit on the edge of the bed for a while. Can’t really sleep but somehow doze. It goes like that from about 10pm to maybe 2:30am. Then, for some reason, it seems to quite down, not go away completely, but offering a chance to get a bit of sleep. Last night, I got a taste of what the doctor probably was preparing me for when he gave me meds for pain. Up till now I have felt no special terrible pain, but last night, for a short time (I don’t know why it happened that way) I felt a sharp and medium painful pain for about 5 minutes, but then it went away. Maybe that could be the future and the reason why the pain capsules.

    In any case, On Monday the 29, the day before the MRI (which was finally ordered via a friend who contacted his friend who is a radiologist). I went to our neurologist to get a a script for the pharmacy for something to make sure the spasms didn’t happen during the MRI. That would be a disaster. He then asked about the form. I said, what form. Ha. Someone had forgotten to tell me that he has to fill in a form to authorize the MRI, the results of which will then be sent to his computer. Hooray. Got that done. Then the doctor (Wolpe, by the way, was a well-known anti-apartheid congressman for the State of Michigan around Kalamazoo, Battle Creek and Grand Rapids. He was the head of the subcommittee on Africa and did a great job. He died in 2006. He was Jewish and the conservative so-called Christians in his area said they don’t want him they want a Christian for Congress. How unchristian can you get…but he said they are not related) said to come about an hour after the MRI to see what to do. So we wen to the place where the MRI was to be done…Jackpersad… and got the instructions what to do and not do for the MRI, as, for instance, not to wear anything that has metal on or in it. They also asked if I had any metal in me. I told them not yet. So the booking was confirmed.

We then went to the pharmacy to get the prescription  filled. Two tiny little pills, R8,50 for the two. Ha. That’s about 40cents in the US. Powerful little things…muscle relaxants that also make you a bit drowsy. They worked fine.

I climbed on the table for the MRI and was positioned by the nice lady radiographer and given a remote in case I go into a panic I can push the button and it will stop. As I had been told by a friend I also asked for a cloth to be put over my eyes…not to see the inside of this tube and panic. However, in spite of the noise, the medicine worked fine. I didn’t move a muscle and even the noise (it is very noisy, I don’t know why) didn’t bother me. I think I must have slept and then it was over. Nice calm experience,

    We then went up to the doctor’s office (neurologist), Wolpe, who looked at the results of the MRI and sent us to Dr. Van Der Merwe (neurosurgeon) to have a look. He showed where the column where the spinal cord is looks as though it is narrowed down a lot almost closed off with the bunch of nerves coming through. Being a neophyte I don’t know what should and should not be or if it is not right how to fix it. After that we went home.

     That Was Tuesday. Wednesday, nothing, Thursday, nothing. I don’t know what the procedure is. Should I contact him or will he contact me to see what is the way forward.

So I phoned his office Friday (yesterday) and the secretary promised to pass the word to him and he would get back to me. He didn’t. So I phoned again today and said to please organize a time when I can meet him to find out what is going on, Monday if possible. She said Monday is full but come at 10am and, even if I have to wait, he will try to squeeze me in. OK. That is something positive. So much for the URGENT part.

    In the meantime I am getting tired of Kashogii stories and the Saudi’s and the vitriol in the buildup to the midterm elections. (I voted, by the way, by absentee ballot).

   An aside. I just finished the lunch that was brought up to me (fish of course since it is Friday). Bishop Lobinger (89yrs. Old, my neighbour—who wrote most of the things about small Christian communities that was published worldwide) just brought me my post. One of the items was my copy of the National Catholic Reporter. Ha. It is now November 2.  This is the May 18-31, 2018 edition. Our post is faithful in the end. Holy Moses.

    See you again in a few days, and many thanks for the torrents of prayer. I hope that God is listening.  Cas.

October 26, 2019

Good News /  Bad news

Dear Janine, Nigel, Lisa, Matthew, Dani and Fr. Dick,

I have been fighting against writing this letter because I really don’t like what I have to say, but I can’t avoid it. I wrote the whole letter last night, but by some fluke, when I tried to paste it into the email, it just disappeared, and as I said, I was too angry and frustrated at the time as it was also time for me to hit the hay, that I just put it off till this morning. Well, here we go.

A friend finally managed to persuade his neurologist friend to squeeze me in yesterday although he was fully booked and probably wouldn’t be able to take me till some time late in November. He tested me in many ways but the telltale test was the thing called the Kabinski reflex. This is what I got from the internet.

What does a positive Babinski reflex mean?

Reflexes are responses that occur when the body receives a certain stimulus. TheBabinski reflex occurs after the sole of the foot has been firmly stroked. The big toe then moves upward or toward the top surface of the foot. The other toes fan out. This reflex is normal in children up to 2 years old.Feb 23, 2017

However, in time during infancy the Babinski response vanishes and, under normal circumstances, should never return. A Babinski sign in an older child or adult is abnormal. It is a sign of a problem in the central nervous system (CNS), most likely in a part of the CNS called the pyramidal tract.

The term pyramidal tracts refers to upper motor neurons that originate in the cerebral cortex and terminate in the spinal cord (corticospinal) or brainstem (corticobulbar).

He said that I need an MRI immediately. He wrote a letter to the doctor at our hospital at St. Mary’s to see about getting me into the public health system, to Albert Luthuli hospital, in case we were not able to handle the finances (we don’t have medical aid). He also said that if we could muster up the funds he would be happy to organize it privately. I was scared when he said that this MRI was URGENT. I had told him that I was determined to conduct this wedding in Cape Town and was going to climb on the plane next Wed. He said that it would not be a good or wise thing to do and it could wind up causing permanent damage to the spine. I should be resting a lot and not irritating the spine. I was sad and discouraged, as you can imagine. And you know how it is with the government health system. I might get an MRI approved sometime in January and would be going back and forth here and there and I can’t drive now (because I never know when my stupid leg it going to go into a spasm) so I have to try to find people who are willing to give up their time and give me a lift.

That is the bad news. The good news is that I have asked a very good friend, Fr. Dick O’Riorday, retired like me, to take my place for the wedding. I sent him the brochure that I sent to you for the service so that he doesn’t have to worry about preparing anything from scratch. I also sent all the documentation so that he is in the picture. He will also see Fr. Peter John Pearson who gave us the go-ahead in the first place.

    I asked him to visit you so that he just doesn’t pitch up cold, and once you have met him you will have fallen in love with him as he is a lovely person, Irish, musician, good singer, also kicked out of SA because of his anti-apartheid behaviour.  So you don’t have to worry about that. You have enough to worry about with all the rest of the arrangements for the wedding.

I guess that you will have to call the airline to cancel the flight and hope that you can get at least something back. I would have contacted you earlier but I had to wait till I was sure what was going on. I only found out yesterday.

I guess the same with the accommodation at Century City. But that, if you cancel in time, you should get most or all of your deposit back.

If I have to have an operation, which I think will be the case for all indications, as soon as the recuperation and recovery are finished, first stop will be CT to check on the newly weds. In the meantime, as with Nigel, we pray and put our lives in God’s hands.

I hope to hear about the wedding when it has happened so please don’t forget. And a few pictures but not too many because it takes forever to download the whole wedding album, especially with Lisa the phot specialist. Ha.

Love and Peace, Fr. Cas.

October 21,2018

October 22, 2018.10.22

   This is Monday. Sunday came and went and I never managed to put anything in the blog. So, here is what has been happening. On Saturday, the 20^th, I took my computer to a friend who helped me to install something that I had trouble doing and he also showed me a program where I can safely store (however safe anything is from determined hackers) all my usernames and passwords. I have a yellow pages of these and I can’t remember which is which and they say you musn’t use the same password as it makes it too easy for people who want to get into your stuff.

    Well, when I got home, I started practicing on what he had shown me and my left leg start to spasm along with the foot. And it got to the point where my whole leg got weak and was like a long dragging it around. I had to get one of those 4 legged things to help me walk. I fell down once before I got it and it scared me.

Well, all night and all day, the bloody thing spasms about every 15 seconds, standing, sitting, lying, whatever, all night long. I sent a message to our family doctor here and he gave me an appointment for today at 9:30am. I told him that my mouth still works fine. Ha. Everyone was thinking maybe a stroke. I don’t think so. So he tried to get me an appointment with a neurologist at a local private hospital but there was some hitch so he decided to send me there anyway but via casualty where they would have to do something. One of our Mariannhill brothers is working there at a place called Hillcrest Hospital and happened to be in casualty when we walked in ( I was in a wheel chair since I have been using a four legged walking stick so I don’t fall down). I purposely wore shorts today even though it was a bit chilly because getting my jeans over that foot is a bit tricky since it doesn’t want to bend easily. Any, he sent me for 2 ultra sounds and a blood test. I took one ultrasound for the calf, ankle and achilles tendon. He thought that there might be something wrong there. All were fine. The blood test was to see about my electrolytes and they were also fine. So he wasn’t sure where to go from there because all the while I was taking these tests and w hen he was examining me the spasms were continuing faithfully, maybe to impress him and show him that I wasn’t lying.

     In the end, he sent me to the pharmacy to get some Magnesium capsules and some Calcium something or other pills. He said to come back for an appointment next Thursday at 2pm to see if this stuff was working. After that will come, if that doesn’t solve the problem, a visit to a neurologist.

    In the meantime, I keep on keeping on. If these spasms stop I think I will see if I can drive. Poor Bishop Khumalo was tied up the whole day waiting for me from 9am to 1:30pm. People have been very concerned and have deluged me with messages of love and prayers and the odd suggestions and some who are nearby volunteered to drive me to the doctor if needed. I don’t think they realized that it could be a whole days commitment. We shall see. If I can drive myself that would be better.

   I thank all those who have been so concerned and thoughtful. It is really nice to be loved. So many have no one to show them love. I guess that is our job when we get the chance.

So that is it for now. I will catch you up on other things soon. ( I have already done my bookings for the flights to the States next year for my home leave; I sent a message to Zambia with dates for a visit there when I get back from my home leave; I have a wedding that I prepared and will be leaving on the 31^st of Oct. for it in CapeTown. These are on the cards and I hope all goes well so that they become reality.

In the meantime, lots of love to you all. Cas.

October 3, 2018.10.01

Today is the feast of St. Therese of Lisieux, the patron saint of the parish we are trying to get built with a real church. I prayed to her today to please lean on our municipality to hurry up and give the go ahead to our plans to start building. They have already passed the plans but the bureaucracy is as slow as molasses in winter.

   But, I just want to make a quick comment about the circus that is taking place in DC right now.

I am really tired of hearing about Ford and Kavanaugh’s testimonies. Going all the way back to high school and college. I am glad that I was in the seminary for high school because, otherwise, I am sure that I would have been one of those who gave “grass” a try. Then 50 yrs. Later I would have to confess that my ordination was invalid because I didn’t mention that before I was ordained. Ha.

    But, to be serious, there are two things that I would like to put before you. If I were president, I think I would like, for the sake of the American people, to choose the most neutral person I could find for the job, to avoid, what we see here, the partisanship that is destroying any semblance of common sense and ability to work together. That would be number one.

    As for Kavanaugh being the right choice, one of the reasons I would hesitate is referring to his outburst in his hearing when he accused to Democrats of purposely trying to destroy him. He has always been a Republican, and showed his partiality to the Republican party by his outburst, which, to me, foreshadows how he could easily make decisions that favour his party rather than decisions that are for the common good of the Americans as a whole. In other words, he is far from the neutral person, I think, should be chosen for this weighty job. It is my bed time now so I will close here and see you another time. We also have our problems here with divisions in the government and in the ruling party, the ANC, which is no longer the ANC that I was chaplain of when we were in exile in Zimbabwe and Zambia. Good night. Cas.

Sept. 27, 2018

   I am tired of hearing Nikki Haley at the UN castigating Iran for its support of “terrorism” all over. What hypocricy. Here are a few things you and she can think about in that regard.

October 26, 2019

Good News /  Bad news

Dear Janine, Nigel, Lisa, Matthew, Dani and Fr. Dick,

I have been fighting against writing this letter because I really don’t like what I have to say, but I can’t avoid it. I wrote the whole letter last night, but by some fluke, when I tried to paste it into the email, it just disappeared, and as I said, I was too angry and frustrated at the time as it was also time for me to hit the hay, that I just put it off till this morning. Well, here we go.

A friend finally managed to persuade his neurologist friend to squeeze me in yesterday although he was fully booked and probably wouldn’t be able to take me till some time late in November. He tested me in many ways but the telltale test was the thing called the Kabinski reflex. This is what I got from the internet.

What does a positive Babinski reflex mean?

Reflexes are responses that occur when the body receives a certain stimulus. TheBabinski reflex occurs after the sole of the foot has been firmly stroked. The big toe then moves upward or toward the top surface of the foot. The other toes fan out. This reflex is normal in children up to 2 years old.Feb 23, 2017

However, in time during infancy the Babinski response vanishes and, under normal circumstances, should never return. A Babinski sign in an older child or adult is abnormal. It is a sign of a problem in the central nervous system (CNS), most likely in a part of the CNS called the pyramidal tract.

The term pyramidal tracts refers to upper motor neurons that originate in the cerebral cortex and terminate in the spinal cord (corticospinal) or brainstem (corticobulbar).

He said that I need an MRI immediately. He wrote a letter to the doctor at our hospital at St. Mary’s to see about getting me into the public health system, to Albert Luthuli hospital, in case we were not able to handle the finances (we don’t have medical aid). He also said that if we could muster up the funds he would be happy to organize it privately. I was scared when he said that this MRI was URGENT. I had told him that I was determined to conduct this wedding in Cape Town and was going to climb on the plane next Wed. He said that it would not be a good or wise thing to do and it could wind up causing permanent damage to the spine. I should be resting a lot and not irritating the spine. I was sad and discouraged, as you can imagine. And you know how it is with the government health system. I might get an MRI approved sometime in January and would be going back and forth here and there and I can’t drive now (because I never know when my stupid leg it going to go into a spasm) so I have to try to find people who are willing to give up their time and give me a lift.

That is the bad news. The good news is that I have asked a very good friend, Fr. Dick O’Riorday, retired like me, to take my place for the wedding. I sent him the brochure that I sent to you for the service so that he doesn’t have to worry about preparing anything from scratch. I also sent all the documentation so that he is in the picture. He will also see Fr. Peter John Pearson who gave us the go-ahead in the first place.

    I asked him to visit you so that he just doesn’t pitch up cold, and once you have met him you will have fallen in love with him as he is a lovely person, Irish, musician, good singer, also kicked out of SA because of his anti-apartheid behaviour.  So you don’t have to worry about that. You have enough to worry about with all the rest of the arrangements for the wedding.

I guess that you will have to call the airline to cancel the flight and hope that you can get at least something back. I would have contacted you earlier but I had to wait till I was sure what was going on. I only found out yesterday.

I guess the same with the accommodation at Century City. But that, if you cancel in time, you should get most or all of your deposit back.

If I have to have an operation, which I think will be the case for all indications, as soon as the recuperation and recovery are finished, first stop will be CT to check on the newly weds. In the meantime, as with Nigel, we pray and put our lives in God’s hands.

I hope to hear about the wedding when it has happened so please don’t forget. And a few pictures but not too many because it takes forever to download the whole wedding album, especially with Lisa the phot specialist. Ha.

Love and Peace, Fr. Cas.

October 21,2018

October 22, 2018.10.22

   This is Monday. Sunday came and went and I never managed to put anything in the blog. So, here is what has been happening. On Saturday, the 20^th, I took my computer to a friend who helped me to install something that I had trouble doing and he also showed me a program where I can safely store (however safe anything is from determined hackers) all my usernames and passwords. I have a yellow pages of these and I can’t remember which is which and they say you musn’t use the same password as it makes it too easy for people who want to get into your stuff.

    Well, when I got home, I started practicing on what he had shown me and my left leg start to spasm along with the foot. And it got to the point where my whole leg got weak and was like a long dragging it around. I had to get one of those 4 legged things to help me walk. I fell down once before I got it and it scared me.

Well, all night and all day, the bloody thing spasms about every 15 seconds, standing, sitting, lying, whatever, all night long. I sent a message to our family doctor here and he gave me an appointment for today at 9:30am. I told him that my mouth still works fine. Ha. Everyone was thinking maybe a stroke. I don’t think so. So he tried to get me an appointment with a neurologist at a local private hospital but there was some hitch so he decided to send me there anyway but via casualty where they would have to do something. One of our Mariannhill brothers is working there at a place called Hillcrest Hospital and happened to be in casualty when we walked in ( I was in a wheel chair since I have been using a four legged walking stick so I don’t fall down). I purposely wore shorts today even though it was a bit chilly because getting my jeans over that foot is a bit tricky since it doesn’t want to bend easily. Any, he sent me for 2 ultra sounds and a blood test. I took one ultrasound for the calf, ankle and achilles tendon. He thought that there might be something wrong there. All were fine. The blood test was to see about my electrolytes and they were also fine. So he wasn’t sure where to go from there because all the while I was taking these tests and w hen he was examining me the spasms were continuing faithfully, maybe to impress him and show him that I wasn’t lying.

     In the end, he sent me to the pharmacy to get some Magnesium capsules and some Calcium something or other pills. He said to come back for an appointment next Thursday at 2pm to see if this stuff was working. After that will come, if that doesn’t solve the problem, a visit to a neurologist.

    In the meantime, I keep on keeping on. If these spasms stop I think I will see if I can drive. Poor Bishop Khumalo was tied up the whole day waiting for me from 9am to 1:30pm. People have been very concerned and have deluged me with messages of love and prayers and the odd suggestions and some who are nearby volunteered to drive me to the doctor if needed. I don’t think they realized that it could be a whole days commitment. We shall see. If I can drive myself that would be better.

   I thank all those who have been so concerned and thoughtful. It is really nice to be loved. So many have no one to show them love. I guess that is our job when we get the chance.

So that is it for now. I will catch you up on other things soon. ( I have already done my bookings for the flights to the States next year for my home leave; I sent a message to Zambia with dates for a visit there when I get back from my home leave; I have a wedding that I prepared and will be leaving on the 31^st of Oct. for it in CapeTown. These are on the cards and I hope all goes well so that they become reality.

In the meantime, lots of love to you all. Cas.

October 3, 2018

   I found this letter to Americans advising them to take the November vote seriously and to check out the candidates to be voted for so that you get the right people. Here is the letter.

Open letter to American voters: Think carefully about the serious choice you will soon make

By J Brooks Spector• 1 October 2018

 United States President Donald J. Trump speaks to supporters during a rally at the WesBanco Arena in Wheeling, West Virginia, USA, 29 September 2018. EPA-EFE/DAVID MAXWELL  Less

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Americans will soon be voting on the House of Representatives and a third of the Senate. Their choices will determine if Congress fulfills its constitutional mandate... And if the US should continue to be lead by the Republicans. 

My dear fellow Americans:

ADVERTISING

In the past several years I have written the occasional open letter to leaders in South Africa of various parties on important issues of public policy and — less frequently — to American officials, such as to presidential adviser Ivanka Trump. But this time around, I write to all of my fellow citizens.

As some readers know, after retiring as an American diplomat serving in Africa and East and Southeast Asia over some three decades, I now live rather permanently in South Africa. Nevertheless, I remain an American citizen with an active, even obsessive, interest in what happens in my country, and in observing the national temper from afar through reading newspapers, popular publications and a variety of more specialized periodicals, watching the newscasts and by staying in touch with a circle of friends and relatives in the US.

Usually our writing tries to analyse an issue such as the latest international trade proposal for an overseas audience. But this time I want to look at the larger shape of American political life through the lens of an imminent choice by the country’s elected representatives as well as the broader population’s upcoming participation in the midterm election. On that, I want to offer my “two cents” on what it all means for my fellow Americans.

This matters now, of course, because America faces a crucial, probably defining election in just a few weeks that could shape the nature of America’s engagement with the rest of the world for years to come. True, a midterm election is one in which the presidency will not change hands. That can likely only come about via the general election in 2020 — unless an unexpected event such as a resignation, impeachment, or the use of the disability clause of the 25th amendment to the country’s constitution should occur. But depending on how much support or opposition a president has in Congress will have a real impact on how a president can carry out his plans unhindered or subject to more aggressive evaluation and review.

As a result, the issue before American voters is the potential for a rebalancing of strength in the US Congress between the two major parties. Or, in not doing so, and thus choosing “to go with the horse that brung you”, as Americans used to say.

Moreover, the past several weeks have given the world a vivid, even startling demonstration of the importance of the choices that can be made in Congress (specifically, this time by the Senate) — and thus the voters’ ultimate choices about the membership of that Congress after 6 November. For as the millions of Americans who have been closely following the debate know, the Senate Judiciary Committee has been considering the nomination by Donald Trump of a current federal appellate judge, Brett Kavanaugh, to become an associate justice of the Supreme Court, replacing the retiring Anthony Kennedy.

During his years on the court, Kennedy had often been the deciding vote in a body frequently split four-four between liberal and conservative views. As a result, Kavanaugh’s nomination has been widely seen as a way to craft a permanent conservative majority for a generation — especially if Donald Trump eventually gets to fill Associate Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg’s seat before his time as president finally draws to an end.

After Kavanaugh’s nomination was announced, a number of women began to come forward, claiming Kavanaugh had carried out sexual assaults in his high school and college years. Eventually, the Senate committee was bulldozed into having one of Kavanaugh’s accusers testify before the Judiciary Committee, live on international television, followed by the nominee himself.

It became riveting, astonishing television for millions of Americans who followed it. But I must tell you that millions of foreigners were similarly transfixed by this broadcast as well. While the open, public nature of this real political drama led some to applaud this live autopsy of a man’s life and behavior, it has also led others to question how in the world Americans could even be considering a man with Kavanaugh’s obvious flaws in judicial (and personal) temperament, his sharply phrased political values in support of a quasi-imperial presidency, and his forcibly expressed political bias, to a lifetime appointment to our nation’s highest court.

As things stand now, all Americans — and the rest of the world — will be waiting impatiently for the results of a new FBI review of Brett Kavanaugh’s past, presumably to be completed by the end of this week. And depending on the results of that review, the full Senate will take its final vote — yea or nay — on Kavanaugh. With the ultimate positions of three Republican senators and several Democrats still in the balance, it is now a real-life, but thoroughly made-for-television drama without a final act as of yet. But it will have major consequences for American jurisprudence and politics, either way.

And here is where the choices my fellow Americans will make on 6 November will matter enormously.

A very brief review of America’s constitutional history is important here. As we all learned in our American history and civics courses in high school (unless like a certain Georgetown Prep student, our minds were totally preoccupied by football, brewskis and girls), way back in 1787, the failure of the Articles of Confederation had become obvious to everyone in the newly independent nation.

As a result, men like Alexander Hamilton, Thomas Jefferson, John Adams, Ben Franklin and James Madison had come together to build a more effective, more lasting, more supple government before the new nation had fallen apart completely. These were men who had held responsible jobs in their lives — commercial farming, business, publishing, the law (and yes, some of them were slave holders too).

While they shared the prejudices of their time, they were both careful thinkers and intensely practical men. But they were not abstract, theoretical academics and philosophers. They saw the crisis and sought a solution.

They carefully studied the eventually unsuccessful experiences of most republics throughout history, from the fates of the Roman Republic and Periclean Athens, to the more contemporary Venetian and Dutch Republics. And from that review, they concluded, among other lessons, that too much power in the hands of one part of a government or one office almost inevitably brought down the entire structure or generated system-destroying revolts. But too little in the way of effective government was not much better. Division and a descent into chaos were no answers either.

Under persuasion from Madison, together with several of the others, at a new constitutional convention, they contrived a constitutional arrangement that deliberately designed a more powerful central government. But it was also one where power was distributed between three distinct branches of government and where many aspects of those powers were shared as well.

The chief executive appointed federal judges and senior officials, but the appointments of those same individuals had to be confirmed by the Senate. The chief executive was required to see that the nation’s laws were faithfully carried out, but where those same laws had to be passed by both houses of Congress — including the government’s budgets. The Founders were deeply fearful of an all-powerful, authoritarian ruler ruling by decree and fiat and so they assumed Congress would debate all proposed laws vigorously and fully before acceding to the wishes of a president.

Back when the Constitution was initially proposed, and then adopted, the great divisions in American public life — in a nation of fewer than five million people — were between the more commercial centers of New England and the mid-Atlantic port cities versus the Southern agricultural world and the newly opened up territories of the then-West beyond the Appalachian Mountains. In fact, the current, familiar, overarching division of American political life — political parties — did not yet even exist. But fear of authoritarian rule ran deep and so the idea that Congress represented the will of the voters and that it was the core body of government was given tangible expression by the fact it was defined in the Constitution’s Article I, rather than the chief executive.

And this is where the matter of the nomination of Brett Kavanaugh and the election this November draw together. In about five weeks’ time, you must make choices about who will represent you on the national level, in accord with James Madison’s famous argument that there would not be any need for government at all if all men were angels; but, sadly, they are not.

Instead, the nomination of a rancorous, vengeful, problematic nominee with an apparently troubling past like Brett Kavanaugh helps make the case for a Congress that takes seriously its responsibilities to weigh carefully any presidential appointments. But in the same way, this national legislative body must also take on the role of serious oversight of executive decisions, plans, programs — and, crucially — to investigate potential criminal activity by officials, just as those founders had envisaged Congress’s role over two centuries ago.

It cannot take on the supine role of mindless political support of an equally troubling presidency — simply out of party loyalty. What this means — in less than six weeks’ time — is that voters must weigh the willingness of candidates to challenge the executive branch whenever it becomes necessary — and to exert judgment and a sense of loyalty to the nation writ large, rather than just to narrower, immediate partisan interests.

This kind of choice is far beyond mindless expressions of unswerving party loyalty or to the sub rosa appeals of prejudice and “dog whistles”. The choices, district by district, all across the nation, will be in your hands, come 6 November. Think carefully, research the candidates and their ideas fully, and only then vote with a full knowledge of the consequences if you take this responsibility too lightly.

With best regards and respect,

J. Brooks Spector

J Brooks Spector

Spector settled in Johannesburg after a career as a US diplomat in Africa and East Asia. He has taught at the U. of the Witwatersrand, been a consultant for an international NGO, run a famous Johannesburg theatre and remains on its board, and been a commentator for South African and international print/broadcast/online media, in addition to writing for The Daily Maverick from day one. Post-retirement, Spector has also been a Bradlow Fellow of the SA Institute of International Affairs and a Writing Fellow of the University of Johannesburg’s Institute for Advanced Studies. Only half humourously, he says he learned everything he needs to know about politics from ‘Casablanca.’ Maybe he's increasingly cynical about some things, but a late Beethoven string quartet, John Coltrane’s music, and a dish of soto ayam (one of Indonesia's great culinary discoveries) will bring him close to tears.

October 2, 2018.10.01

Today is the feast of St. Therese of Lisieux, the patron saint of the parish we are trying to get built with a real church. I prayed to her today to please lean on our municipality to hurry up and give the go ahead to our plans to start building. They have already passed the plans but the bureaucracy is as slow as molasses in winter.

   But, I just want to make a quick comment about the circus that is taking place in DC right now.

I am really tired of hearing about Ford and Kavanaugh’s testimonies. Going all the way back to high school and college. I am glad that I was in the seminary for high school because, otherwise, I am sure that I would have been one of those who gave “grass” a try. Then 50 yrs. Later I would have to confess that my ordination was invalid because I didn’t mention that before I was ordained. Ha.

    But, to be serious, there are two things that I would like to put before you. If I were president, I think I would like, for the sake of the American people, to choose the most neutral person I could find for the job, to avoid, what we see here, the partisanship that is destroying any semblance of common sense and ability to work together. That would be number one.

    As for Kavanaugh being the right choice, one of the reasons I would hesitate is referring to his outburst in his hearing when he accused to Democrats of purposely trying to destroy him. He has always been a Republican, and showed his partiality to the Republican party by his outburst, which, to me, foreshadows how he could easily make decisions that favour his party rather than decisions that are for the common good of the Americans as a whole. In other words, he is far from the neutral person, I think, should be chosen for this weighty job. It is my bed time now so I will close here and see you another time. We also have our problems here with divisions in the government and in the ruling party, the ANC, which is no longer the ANC that I was chaplain of when we were in exile in Zimbabwe and Zambia. Good night. Cas.

Sept. 27, 2018

   I am tired of hearing Nikki Haley at the UN castigating Iran for its support of “terrorism” all over. What hypocricy. Here are a few things you and she can think about in that regard.