Someone sent this to me and I thought you (especially you retirees) might enjoy it. Life can be so dull just sitting around the house all day with nothing exciting happening. Try something! Love and Peace, Cas

A RETIREE'S LAST TRIP TO KROGER

Yesterday I was at my local Kroger buying a large bag of Purina dog

chow for my loyal pet, Jake, the Wonder Dog and was in the check-out

line when a woman behind me asked if I had a dog.

What did she think I had an elephant?

So because I'm retired and have little to do, on impulse I told her

that no, I didn't have a dog, I was starting the Purina Diet again. I

added that I probably shouldn't, because I ended up in the hospital

last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an

intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and

IVs in both arms.

I told her that it was essentially a Perfect Diet and that the way

that it works is, to load your pants pockets with Purina Nuggets and

simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is

nutritionally complete so it works well and I was going to try it

again. (I have to mention here that practically everyone in line was

now enthralled with my story.)

Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care, because the dog

food poisoned me. I told her no, I stopped to Pee on a Fire Hydrant

and a car hit me.

I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he was

Laughing so hard.

Kroger won't let me shop there anymore. Better watch what you ask

retired people. They have all the time in the World to think of crazy

things to say